


Furor.

by Jxdith



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Altered Mental States, Assisted Suicide, Chopping ones own arm, Cliffs of Insanity, Crying, Gen, Heavy Angst, Mental Breakdown, Mental Disintegration, Mental Instability, Mild Gore, Murder-Suicide, Papyrus-centric, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Self-Harm, Will switch to sans' pov, Worried Sans, laughing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:17:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jxdith/pseuds/Jxdith
Summary: (Translate Furor from latin to english.)You lie on the ground in your room. You thought for a while like you've never done it for years. Sans wasn't going home for an hour or so. Everything's fine. But not your mental state.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I actually haven't wrote a fanfic for years. So please be aware of words being mispelled because I just wrote it the whole afternoon before going to bed so bear with me.
> 
> Kind of inspired by a fanfic called Sick Jokes by lionsaurus and FINAGLC by unrestedjade.
> 
> Actually this is a vent fic so beware. 
> 
> And don't worry, I'm fine.
> 
> Ps. I'll probably recheck this and and some more parts in it so be aware again.

You went inside of your room, shutting the door closed. You blinked and looked around your room for a moment.

Its been a while.

You've been missing those moments where ypu just want to lie on the bed or stay in your closet for hours and hours but, its been rare these past few months.

Your friends have been observing you of your actions. But you never thought of it.

So you sat on the ground and lied on it.

Hmm. Where to start.

....

 

Its funny. As if you can't even think of a topic to start ranting out of it. Though you bet if people are reading your mind right now they would be very pissed and tried to find another way or just give up to mess with their own beings. Huh. Pathetic.

You just can't take it and chuckled quietly.

...

 

What would it feel like. To go insane? 

Nah, people would thought you were just being stupid. As if they know a lot of you. 

But its maddening to see those people look at you that way. Stupid, pathetic, naive— anything that are related to those things. 

Its like you weren't allowed to actually fucking feel anything at all. But only dumb happiness is.

You snickered. Just the thought of it makes you nauseatic.

Why wouldn't they understand—

—that Sans wasn't the only monster-being in the whole Underground who feels this way? Its like everyone loves him. Manipulates him. Tortures him. Destroys him. Misinterprets who he was. Just for their own. Pleasure.

Yeah. That.

Just for themselves. 

But what if they're reading your mind right now? Wouldn't they be pissed? 

Just by thinking of it makes you blank for a while.

Yeah. They're pissed because you weren't allowed to feel anything at all.

Its like war. But not entirely.

Because they can't hate you for being like that. They can't hate you. Because you're just nothing. 

Its so unfair. You so wished you knew very. Very. Very sooner.

 

Its maddening to think. Why does it always have to be this way??

...

 

You stared at your red, colored gloves.

The color is very pretty, you thought.

You wish you wanted to be something else, to be a color instead to feel anything else but purpose. The color red is a purpose because lots of people has everything with this color. You are wearing things with color red right? 

Right?

Its also your favorite color. You wear things with that color. Majority of your things in your room are tainted in color red.

.....

 

Would it be nice to see your bones be— tainted in red too?

Its IS your favorite.

Or maybe your whole body— or also your soul— or you dust— or—

 

You stopped.

There are tears in your eyesockets. Weird. You haven't cried for atleast a year or so.

You touched it. You also wished that your tears are red too. 

But yout thought for a while.

 

Maybe you COULD make it red. Or maybe it is already red.

 

But the only thing in your mind is your own bones to make it red.

So you went over your drawer and saw the old, rusty, but still sharp butcher knife you stole in the kitchen. Its kind of relieving that Sans doesn't mind the thing at all.

You took the object with you and went over the spot you were on the floor before. You placed you arm on the floor and ready the butcher knife. 

You're already used to this type of stuff. You know who you are anyway. 

But you never chopped of your arm or your wrist before but, you could heal it anyway.

So you grip the knife, and without hesitation, chopped off your whole ulna and radius with a loud 'tak'.

 

With all your strength and time reaction, you screamed silently with air huffing out.

Your sockets wide as ever and as if all your tears are empty.

The feeling was like you didn't touched ground. Like you've never touched surface.

It gives feelings like you never had a hand before. Its like poison.

Small jolts of pain it gives, but you whole body is violently shivering. The heat of the pain when you chopped off your wrist the exact time it gives you trauma.

Your mind is spinning like migraine. Your whole body is questioning your temperature rate because right now its going up and down like crazy.

You felt magic gathering in the inside of your jaw, was what that called? Saliva? You couldn't help it.

 

You wished you swing the thing smoothly instead.

Because right now its itching to chop off the pain. Its itching so. Damn. Much.

But you refused.

You tried so much. And you succeed.

 

Your sanity came back and wants you to observe the bone inside.

You dropped the knife numbly, and grabbed your chopped-off ulna and radius. You checkdd he inside of the bone.

Wow. Your saliva in your jaw right now is drooling.

The inside are so small, so many tiny circles surrounding it. 

You leaned in closer.

The tiny circles kind of dominate the area of the marrow inside, and its color is a dull yellow. It looks like honeycomb, but with very small spaces. 

You want to bite it off. It might taste good than looking at it. Right?

Your left side of your body felt very wet but you ignored it and continued examining the marrow.

And as you stared at it for 3-4 seconds, there is a bubble-like liquid building at the non-circled area of the marrows almost everywhere of the two chopped bones. 

Oh. Its red. Its your favorite color.

 

You never knew. That it CAN be tainted in red! 

You feel contented.

 

See?! People are wrong! All the things Papyrus believes to think he think he can make can be true! Look!

Well atleast he believed in himself.

After examining. He checked his arm, the marrow on his arm is dripping red. 

Huh. Curious.

What does it taste like? 

You raised your arm and licked some of it.

Its salty. Tastes like raw iron melted a little too much.

You cough it off. 

But you got irritated that it got on your carpet. Now its messy! He just washed it yesterday! 

But its alright. He'll clean it later.

 

You placed your arm on your lap and gently placed your ulna and radius on the chopped area of the bone. You used your healing magic to put it together again.

After done healing you lie on the ground again, still feeling jolts of pain from it.

 

You wondered. Sans wasn't still home.

But he was always not home. So its normal.

...

 

Somehow, you wished you could tint your soul red. But you can't, because you might end up killing youself anyway.

Hahahha.

Its funny.

You don't want to do it yourself so maybe Sans can help you do it. So you grab a hold of the butcher knife gently and slowly but surely, reached out in your ribcage and grabbed your soul, gently. You pulled it out. 

The color is white. But you want it to be red.

Oh how you wished to do it is to chop it off like you did to your bones.

But you waited. 

Just waited for your brother.


End file.
